Last week, I was reading the news over Mashable about a new social network to literally bang your friends. The Bang With Friends sex app claims to anonymously hook users up with their Facebook friends. From the very first minute, I knew this could be a huge risk for many people to connect it to their Facebook and suggested a few friends not to even go near there.
It turns out I was right. I went to the first step of signing up where I was redirected to Facebook to authorize the app, and it turns out I could see which of my friends are already using the not-so-discrete-and-definitely-not-anonymous-at-all app:
I’m not saying it’s wrong to use it, we are all free to do as we please, but just have in mind that your family members and others would find out with only one click if you’re in or not.
In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare my rash has stopped burning, and also, that my copyright is attached to all of my typo-riddled status updates about my banal life, my bathroom mirror Instagram self portraits, my declarations of love for my worm-addled pets, and any and all blurry photos of my unremarkable meals (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times. But first, please validate my existence by “liking” my uninformed political opinions and free-verse poetry.
(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. It’s amazing what people will post to their Facebook Wall. Sometimes they don’t even read what they copy and paste. For instance: Joseph Stalin had a haunting singing voice.)
By the present communique, I notify Facebook that I had no idea that this 100% free social media site’s entire business model is to aggressively pimp all the personal and private information I so blithely shovel into its gaping maw. I thought it was just free, like magic! Furthermore, I have no idea how copyright law actually works, and my relationship status isn’t really “complicated,” but making that lie public numbs the pain of loneliness.
All Facebook members are recommended to publish a notice like this, because everyone else is doing it. If you do not publish a statement at least once, then you might actually have a life.